Me and The World Cup....

Before you get all hoity toity on me I know that is grammatically incorrect.  wink.

Soccer.

I know nothing about the sport.

Actually I know a few things.

I know that one of my best friends is leaving to go to Brazil with her son today to see the World Cup.

I know it's in Brazil (only because she told me she was going there and I asked why).

I also know that Italy won the World Cup in 2006.

why?

because I was in Rome when it happened and it was a freakin crazy place.

y'all.  I am not lyin.  And you know what else?

I let my youngest beautiful blonde haired blue eyed daughter go to the Paizza di Spagna with a family that I met at dinner.

I'm serious.  She was 18 at the time and she later told me that she ended up on the shoulders of some Italian guy celebrating in what was probably the craziest place on the planet at that time.

So.  I decided today I was going to learn stuff about soccer.

You know, I'm on a never ending quest to learn as much about stuff as I can before I leave this earth.

It has literally taken me 54 years (almost 55) to get to that point.  I could have cared less a year ago.

I'm serious.

So.  I was bored today because the kids had gone home and "W" had to work.  I really needed a mani/pedi.

So I went next door to the nail salon.  

This salon is huge y'all.  I mean like 40 nail techs work there.  And the World Cup was on!

Perfect!  I can relax and learn the game!  In the hour that I'm there.

So, my nail techs name is "Handsome"  no really, it's either that or "Hanson".  I couldn't understand exactly what he said, but he KNEW soccer.  Perfect learning experience!!!

oh, and my new best friend next to me was like this soccer expert.  I knew she wouldn't mind me interrupting her soccer watching experience with a few questions.

I also know that Orthopaedic Surgeons must be getting like crazy rich off soccer players.

Okay.  So they're watching and I'm asking questions.

That girl (my ex-best friend) was like "B---h" get a manual and learn the game and quit interrupting.

Head down.  oops.  So I just decide to talk with Handsome.  Well, sorta.  In my best Vietnamese accent.

He told me that there are two cards.  A warning which is yellow and then the red one means your outta the game. 

My son-in-law actually told me that same thing yesterday and he was much easier to understand.

He also told me that if you get a red card you get kicked outta the game and no one can go in for you.

It really just looks like a lot of guys running back and forth and what's with hitting the ball off your head?  Really?  That just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.  

I really embarrassed myself when I said "wait, is that Argentina playing?"

"Don't they have someone named Smellie, or Smartie, or something like that?"

My ex-best friend was TOTALLY over me at this point.

Lionel Messi...what a cutie pie!

Check back in a couple of days!

kb