Wednesday, February 9, 2011

"I'm An Embarrassment"

I will be the first to admit, I love to laugh at myself.  I grew up being the "BUTT" of all jokes in my family and so I guess I finally gave up and decided to laugh along with everyone else.
With that being said, I'm an embarrassment....
even to myself....
Enter, scenario one:
Lenox Square (mall in Atlanta)
last week, just havin the greatest time, lovin life, doin a little shoppin, strollin all over the mall.  I had to hit Niemans, did a little damage in Anthro, couldn't wait to get over to Phipps Plaza (Lenox's counterpart) to Saks and Nordstom and Tory.  
Anyway, I got back to our condo in Atlanta and "W" goes "did you REALLY go to the mall looking like THAT"
I was like "WHAT"?  He said "Kendall", "Look at your BUTT".....
It looked MUCH worse with a fat fanny hangin outta it.  Let me tell you.
So, enter Scenario Two:
(and I really can't believe I'm going to tell you this. think hard before pushing that "Publish" button Kendall,,,,,think really, really hard")
Sunday, I'm in one of my favorite art stores (name not to be discussed) to get some canvases.
I went into the restroom and just COMPLETELY forgot to turn around to look at the toilet. 
Now, have any of you ever done that?
So, you know, I'm goin and all.
All of the sudden I see a flood of water on the floor next to me creeping up on my new Tory Burch tote

that one.
 (there wasn't a hook on the door)
Well, I'm not goin to tell you what happened. I'm going to leave you guessing.
Let's just say, I will NEVER tell where I was or WHAT that was all over the floor.  (It's probably a good idea though to look and make sure the at toilet seat cover is UP before squatting.) 
I need a break.
My mom is laughing at me from Heaven!
Have a wonderful day y'all!

1 comment:

  1. this made my morning! thanks for sharing! you are too funny :)