I was wondering when it would.
It happened day before yesterday that she's really gone. It's been 20 days.
No more phone calls to check on the correct ingredients to one of her recipes.
No more advice on whether I should have a worrisome place on my arm checked out by the doctor.
No more calling to just complain about stuff.
No more reminiscing together about our time spent in Europe.
No more enjoying the lake with her great grandchildren like I have with my grandchildren this week.
No more Mom.
She's gone. She really is.
I was having lunch with Jordan the other day and we were having Chicken and Dumplins.
Well, Mom had a special recipe for this and I said "under my breath" I'll call mom and get it.
And WHAM, I realized I couldn't do it!
That's exactly when it hit me.
I can no longer call her.
It's funny, my kids call me for the same exact reasons I would call my mom. Sometimes they need a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes they need advice on whether they should go to the doctor, (most of the time they need a recipe like I would). But I love it when they just wanna talk. You know about nothin. That's when I'm needed most. I didn't do that enough with my mom. Just talk about nothin in particular. She always wanted to talk about seeing this person and running into so and so that I went to school with. I usually would half way listen I'm ashamed to say. I was usually too self absorbed in what I needed from her. Do we all subconsciously do that with our parents? Half way listen because we want what WE want from them....halfway being annoyed and just wanna get off the phone? I don't know. I know I did from time to time.
I know our parents can get annoying at times as they get older. They're not as fun to talk to as say our friends. But remember......they won't be here for ever. They need us to be there for them. I'm bad about calling my dad (not nearly enough mind you) and telling him all the things I'M doing and not talking about things that he needs to talk about. He just listens quietly while I go on about my selfish life.
It hit me. Hard
I just have to leave you with these pics!!! (W trying to coax Evey into wearing a bow.) hummmm.
oh the love. Red hair with blue eyes....be still my Bennett lovin heart.
we had to end this chilly day with this. oh yummers! a big ole cup of hot chocolate.
(so much for that diet I
was am on.)
Have a wonderful Thursday y'all!
We're heading to the Atlanta Aquarium today!
you WILL see pics manana, so stay tuned!