I have now been here in Birmingham for 15 days straight. I came here for the day, December 23rd which meant the only clothes I had were the ones on my back.
Then I decided to stay....with no clothes.....and since I am probably 20 30 lbs better than Sister (well Sister say's 40...(enter....the "B" word...) (she is like a size 12 child's) I can't fit one calf in her clothes.
"W" came the next day and I asked him to bring the cleaning that was hanging on the valet bar in my closet. (not really knowing what all was in there)...forgot to tell him the makeup, the blow dryer, all of the other main essentials.
Now,,,,if you know me?....um, I kinda like clothes...and shoes....(especially shoes) This cleaning consisted of 3, yep 3 outfits. And really they didn't match too well (and I refuse to fight the crowds to go shopping)
So....I am officially stuck in "Groundhog Day"
That's me right there,,,,minus the hair (and I'm not THAT pear shaped). Same thing happening day after day after day. Same outfit day after day after day.
I'm only trying to lighten up my blog by writing this because really internally, I'm extremely sad. But, it's my form of healing.
Sister and I went up to the hospital at 11 yesterday. All the doctors...It'll be today, Nurses, yep today, Hospice,,,,no doubt, today's the day. Each one checking on my mom and Sister and me probably every 10 minutes. We felt loved like none other and cared for like we are their family. We stayed til 3 and mom was as peaceful as anytime I've ever seen her....Comfort for myself and Sister.. I was 3 weeks late delivering Gregory and this feels a little like that. One of the comments yesterday said it perfectly. It's like having a baby....you know it's gonna happen, just don't know exactly when. Mom has always been a pretty stubborn cookie and she's going to make her way to the pearly gates when she gets good and ready. I respect that! and by the way,,,,,she passed that little trait on to every one of her kids.
Now, that all that's outta the way, "W" and I feel like a vagabond.....and I feel like a total PIG. All I do is eat out, or eat at some one's house. We've finally settled on staying at one house (Callen's) so that is bringing some normalcy to our scattered lives right now. If I could just get my sleep habits under control I'll be great!
Boy do I sound like I deserve the "complainer of the year award" this a.m. (ummm 3:28 to be exact)
I played with my new camera last night so I thought I'd show you a few of my pics.
I just thought the expressions that I caught between "W" and Evelyn were priceless!
and...I love a child right outta the bathtub squeaky clean with Bitty Baby's and Evey's matching pjs.
My mom would've LOVED this!
my precious G-baby
and the other! OH be still my baby lovin heart!
Have a wonderfully, blessed day today y'all!
It's Thursday, January 6th!
and I'm gonna try to go back to sleep.....after I have my coffee, yeah right.
xo
kb
Boy do I sound like I deserve the "complainer of the year award" this a.m. (ummm 3:28 to be exact)
I played with my new camera last night so I thought I'd show you a few of my pics.
I just thought the expressions that I caught between "W" and Evelyn were priceless!
and...I love a child right outta the bathtub squeaky clean with Bitty Baby's and Evey's matching pjs.
My mom would've LOVED this!
Have a wonderfully, blessed day today y'all!
It's Thursday, January 6th!
and I'm gonna try to go back to sleep.....after I have my coffee, yeah right.
xo
kb
Kendall,
ReplyDeleteWe don't know each other well but I've been reading your blogs since you befriended me on FB. I feel your pain and sorrow. My step dad died 11 years ago and wanted to be at home, so hospice was involved. They are so wonderful but the wait is so taxing. I am praying for you, that is they best we can do. The old nurse in me and I guess my spirit is compelling me to tell you something. You may have already done this but maybe your mom needs to hear that you and your families will be ok here without her and that she can go be with the Lord. God Bless you in this time of sorrow.
Sincerely,
Kimberly Schumacher
Kendall, I am also a nurse and have wanted to tell you the same thing Kimberly just posted. My grandmother went through this 13 years ago. It was when the head nurse at the nursing home, who had known her for years, leaned over and whispered in her ear to stop worrying that she would make sure I was ok that she took a few last breaths and finally left us. That nurse and I exchanged Christmas cards for many years. I continue to pray for you and your mom and family. Tammy Parker Stewart
ReplyDeleteWell Kendall...as I do alot, I wrote a long comment and erased:( Sounds like your mom needs and wants YOU all to see her at peace....resting well, after all the pain you have seen her go through. Your last memories will be of peace.....as she drifts towards heaven:) And your outfits.....she thinks all 3 are beautiful:) AND...what precious pictures:))))))
ReplyDeleteKendall, thanks for keeping us informed about your Mom,other wise we would be left wondering how things were going.You & all the family are so strong & I love all of you very much!!! I know you here this over & over but I know you find comfort in knowing how many people love you & truly care!!!
ReplyDeleteKendall,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like the progression of my father: pain, restless, fever and now quiet and peaceful. It seemed as though that lasted a day or so and then it was over. Even though I was a nurse I never really understood (unless a sudden death) what a process it was. As time grew very close his blood pressure became very low for about the last 12 hours. Then his breathing became erratic and finally long gaps between breathes. I totally agree with the above posts. Some patients especially fighters like your mom need to hear that it is ok to not fight anymore and that all they love will be okay. As strong as my faith is I have to admit I wrestled with God a bit at the end. Not about who He is or that He existed but why He would not hurry up and take him. I knew it was in His time but I frankly was getting alittle aggrevated that He time was not mine. I remember the last night my father was on earth I just sat up all night with my sister in his room. I was just sure it would be anytime. I remember looking out the hospital window and seeing the sun come up and being so unhappy that a new day has started and God had not taken him yet. I remember crying out to God on my father's behalf to take him. He died a few hours later. After it was over I felt a bit ashamed that I had almost become angry with God. We worked it out.......... I know for a fact that her time will not come one minute before He is ready for her. I know the waiting and displacement is hard. We all continue to pray for you and your family. Even though I don't always comment I check on you several times a day.
"There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born and a time to die."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
Saucer Sister
Kendall,
ReplyDeleteI experienced the death of my mom just 16 months ago tomorrow with very similar experiences. It was just the two of us,I was sleeping on the couch with her in the room since we brought her home to live out her last few remaining days. I got to spend her final breaths with her and then I looked into her silenced face and said "Now you know what God looks like." I felt so at peace. My mom and father were reunited in God's presence. I could just feel the joy of Daddy's face as he welcomed her home. May you feel the same peace that only God delivers. Love you already, my new friend.
Elaine Graves
Kendall,
ReplyDeleteYour mom was a dear Smock Shoppe friend during the time she sewed the heirloom dresses for her grandaughters. They were all beautiful and priceless- I don't think you would ever find anything like those dresses in any store! Your mom used the prettiest and finest fabrics and laces. I am soo sad for you and your siblings to have to experience her declining health.
I have a beautiful portrait in my Dining Room that your Mom talked me into having done. Kim
was the artist and I am very proud to have the picture! Your Mom and Mary Strickland help me pick out the dress I am sure along with the lace! Your Mom was truly a gifted artist with all of her fabric!We met a long time ago - I just wanted to let you and Kim and Jackie know that I am thinking of youall.
Love,
Elizabeth Martin Sconyers
Tell...W..he is getting tooo skinny..PREcious pictures of Lil E ,W and LiL b..Still praying for ya'll...Must say...W is a godsend too....
ReplyDelete