I actually wrote this blog last night, posted it, and it's 4:30 this morning and I wanted to add to it. (Felt like it wasn't long enough....okay,,,never mind,,,,it's my therapy) remember? I NEED to write every day!
Anyway
There are so many definitions of that word that I can't begin to describe the meaning of it for my blog.
Something keeps popping up in my head though as I am going through this journey with my mom.
Sister leaning over my mom, tears dripping upon my mother's face with Sister saying "I'm not going to let you fall mom, I've got you, I'm not going to let you fall".
It just keeps reappearing in my mind.
"Trust"....
"Trust"....
Once you lose trust, or someone loses trust in you, I believe you've lost so much in your life.
I mean trust in so many different ways, not just the trust that someone will catch you when you fall. I've always been a real trusting soul. I was a college cheerleader and believe me, you've gotta have a lot of trust that that guy is gonna catch you when he cradles you...um...couldn't make much better than a "C" but I could dang sure do a back handspring, (still could until my chiropractor told me to quit), extension and a lib. (you know when a guy holds one leg cradled in two hands and you, well whatever....it's doesn't matter.)
I have a really hard time understanding people who don't trust. I think it goes with my last few posts..the ones about compassion and forgiveness. With compassion comes forgiveness, with forgiveness comes trust, unless you've lost it for good. And then what good are you with yourself. You start losing trust in everyone. You believe everyone is "out to get you" or doing something to you constantly. You start questioning anybody and everybody. There are good people everywhere.
I have a really hard time understanding people who don't trust. I think it goes with my last few posts..the ones about compassion and forgiveness. With compassion comes forgiveness, with forgiveness comes trust, unless you've lost it for good. And then what good are you with yourself. You start losing trust in everyone. You believe everyone is "out to get you" or doing something to you constantly. You start questioning anybody and everybody. There are good people everywhere.
I believe in "Trust". I believe and trust that the Lord is taking care of my mother and "won't let her fall".
I was sitting beside my mom listening to the "gurgle of death" yesterday as some like to call it. It was brutal I won't lie. Probably one of the most brutal days I've had up there.
But...I have the strength that I need and the trust that God will take good care my mother and she will be a Heavenly Angel. I "Trust" in Him.
Have a wonderful Sunday y'all
kb
kb
my thoughts and prayers are with you on this journey
ReplyDeleteWOW Kendall:) Well done as usual. You know I check your blog EVERY morning, BECAUSE I know you have written. Of course the last few weeks it's one of the first things I do because I want to check on your mom. Well, KNOWING that 99% of the time you write between 4-5 am (hehehehe). Last night I decided to check before going to bed JUST IN CASE you had written anything about your mom. Just one of those feelings. Telling Ken, "I'm going to check on Kendall's mom, but I know she hasn't written because it's always early in the a.m.". Well, I checked apparently RIGHT BEFORE you wrote!!!! Reading it this a.m. I was like "WOW".!!! AND, are you sure you didn't get an "A" in English/writing???? :):):) Kendall.....I'm sure you all have done this, but Bill's last day on earth (also at Brookwood Hospital just that one day), and even though he was unresponsive, we all stayed in his room (with many others as well) and talked, laughed and acted as if he were awake and right there in the conversation. All good and fun conversations....reminiscing(sp)and talking of funny things even BILL had done. The way he wanted us to all stay "normal" during his illness...that was our way of being "normal" (we really weren't though...: ( ) for him that day. How we could do that? God was with us...and that's the only explanation. :)) We TRUSTED Him to carry us through that phase, and as always, He did:) I know Bill heard us....and his last day on earth he heard laughter, and knew we were going to be ok. OF COURSE, the last breath...the laughter turned to tears. BUT...again God stepped in...and continues to carry us.:) And as you know...late that night when we returned from the hospital, the first thing I did was WRITE:) Of course I wasn't savvy enough to "blog"...but my "email updates", were therapy:) Thank YOU for your writing:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kendall, without trust there is no love!!!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and Prayers for you, your mother and your Family... Bless all of you!
ReplyDelete