Sunday, January 23, 2011

Separating Families

What a strange thing for me to be blogging about in the wee hours of the morning.  Um, 4:42 to be exact!
But it's one that I was just sitting here thinking about.
Why does that happen?  You see it all the time.  A parent dies and the children get all mad at one another.  Even the ones who are closest with each other go at one anothers throats.  Why is that?
Isn't the death of a parent supposed to be a healing time?   A time to rejoice in the parent's life?  Is fighting something that the parent would want?
I highly doubt it.
It happened with my mother and her brother I'll just go ahead and admit it.  Well it wasn't that they went at each other's throats, they just lived far apart and just sort of lost touch.  Which made us more distant with our cousins, which is sad.
It also happened on my dad's side which is sad as well.  My grandparents were the entity that held us all together.  On both sides.  I miss all of my cousins and my aunts and uncles.
Face book is wonderful.  It has allowed us to all kind of re-unite and I'm SO excited that this has happened!  I'll show you some pics.
My sweet Aunt E (who posts on here from time to time!)
Isn't she beautiful?  Just like my grandmother was.
She and my father have also just re-united on FB and I am just so excited I could bust!
She was my all time favorite aunt.  I would go visit her every summer.
Her sons are the reason I know how to throw a baseball.  They are also the reason I can hit the heck out of that baseball.  I played with the guys every summer....ALL guys, and me.  And believe me,,,for a 13 yr. old girl?  that was pretty darn fun.
We've always stayed in touch with my mom's nephew and his wife,
 but have somehow (a little) lost touch with my sweet cousin Betsy and the rest of the fam. (I love her name by the way)
I've also re-connected with sweet Betsy through FB.
Isn't she darling?
It's a shame that it took 13 yrs. and Face book to re-connect a once close family.
Anyway, back to the question of why families fall apart after the mom dies.
I think a mom is the "glue" that holds a family together.  Dads do too, but much more is the mom the glue.
I think it's innately our job, to do the peacekeeping, the planning of events to bring everyone together, mom's are the ultimate "peacemaker".
My mom hated when my brother's and sister and I did not get along.   It drove her nuts.  And I'll admit, it drives me nuts when mine don't get along either.  It saddens me.  I don't like to hear it when they complain about one another.
Adult sibling rivalry happens in every family I realize but non the less it saddens me when that happens.
My sister and I made a pack that we would never let our families spread apart like it happened when both of our grandmother's died.
I miss my cousins because we let that happen.
I will never let that happen in my family.
Go find your siblings today and tell them you love them
Have a sweet Sunday y'all!


  1. Love,Love ,Love this blog Kendall. How wonderful of you to realize this and stop it before it starts!!! My boys all love each other,but you never know what will happen when the glue is gone... Thank you for the sweet compliments. I love you dearly & your brothers & sister. Uncle Pete & I were your & Kim`s God parents!!! I don`t know if you knew that or not. I`m telling you this because your Mom & Dad trusted us to take care of you if anything happened to them. Believe me we would have,we love you!!! thanks again for the reminders & I will work a little harder to make sure my family stays in tack... LOVE from my HEART!!!

  2. It is a great task that you are taking on to keep your family together! It is difficult and daunting at times, but I'm sure it will be worth it. My (fun)grandfather died 10 years ago and my aunt and her family have all but disappearred in spite of my (not as fun)grandmother still living. My mother has worked tirelessly, but they aren't having any of it and cite all kinds of excuses. It is terrible to not have a realtionship with people you once couldn't live without. Stick to it and keep your family together! It will be so worth it!

  3. Kendall, I loved reading this blog. I work with people who have not seen their brothers or their sisters in years nor have any inclination of contacting them. My brothers and I are pretty close... we don't talk often as I would like, but I love em just the same. We have differences sometimes that makes us lose sight of what the most important thing is in life. To me that is Salvation and my relationship with Christ. With this, I can have the strength to overlook things that are miniscule and keep loving like I should. I often think of ya'll (all my cousins) and some of my fondest memories are playing Wiffle Ball in Sissy and Pa's front yard. We all move on... as we should... but we can't forget who God empowered to make us who we are. Mom and Dad. The Bible says we are to honor them. Thanks for standing up and writing this.