Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Blog About Becky.

Ya know, I woke up this morning and didn't really have anything to blog about!
After a whirlwind past five days I really considered takin a break.
Whew, I was tierd.
Then reading on FB (what I do when I'm bored) I realized that yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of Becky's passing.
She would have loved reading all of the things I got to do with my g-babies this week.  As a matter of fact, I probably could have convinced her to come on up to Atlanta and join us with her own.
This anniversary brings back SOOOOOOOOO many memories that I want to share with you.
First of all, don't, and I mean don't (this is motha Kendall talking) go for years without catching up with special people in your life.  I did it.  I'll admit it.  I did it with Becky and I have grieved over that until I can't grieve any more.  Being too busy is a PATHETIC excuse.
You just don't know what life is going to throw you.
About a month before Becky died, her sister in law told my mom to call me and tell me it might be a good idea if I took the drive down to Dothan, AL (where we grew up) and visit.
I remember sitting in my car in her driveway praying to God for strength because I knew what was about to hit me.
Well sort of.
Becky and I had this look that we gave each other, and it was kind of a look that you give your best friend that means you know what the other one is thinking.  Does that make sense?
I walked into her house.  She was dressed in a Christmas gown with those percussion socks.  Almost a chocolate brown in color and almost no hair.  Her face was drawn and eyes were sunk.  I wanted so bad to believe that she could miraculously pull out of this, but deep down, I knew there was no way.
She looked at me and cocked her adorable head and said "can you believe this?"
I couldn't.  There is something so surreal about not only loosing your best friend to death, but also loosing your first friend to death.
I visited her for about 2 1/2 hours and she was in and out.  She wanted so bad to join in on the conversation but the drugs and the disease just wouldn't let her. So her family and I reminisced and I so hope she was able to hear and comprehend our conversation.  As I left, she whispered as hard as it was for her to do that she loved me.  OMG,  I thought I could get through this blog without crying but evidently not.  I am sobbing.
About a week and a half later, my sister called and told me that she had gone to be with our Heavenly Father.  I wasn't shocked.  But, I cried like a baby.
I remember picking myself up and going shopping, looking for the perfect funeral dress.  I wanted to look beautiful for her.
I went into Sephora and asked the sweet lady what the VERY best eye concealer they made was and as I was doing it, I started sobbing telling her the whole story.  I went into Nordstrom to look for a dress and Becky's wonderful, and I mean wonderful husband called me and asked if I would do the honour of speaking at her funeral.
Oh my.
In front of 2,000 people?  Most that I went to high school with?
Oh course I would.
It also inspired me to write and when I get started, I cannot stop, seriously.  
It was probably the most wonderful honour I have ever been awarded in my entire life to talk about someone that I loved so dearly.
Our problem was that on the 22 (Becky's funeral) we were as a family supposed to be in Deer Valley for a family Christmas trip.  I'm still furious at Delta for not working with us on this and charging us a bazillion dollars for changing our tickets.  But, it was worth it.
My whole family grieved with me and was so there for me.
Her funeral was one of the most beautiful ones I have ever attended.
They did the graveside first.  Here, her four stunningly beautiful daughters sang over her casket which just about put me over the edge.  My son had to physically hold me up.
Then the next night, was a celebration of her life.
I spoke first.  I was able to tell all of our quirks growing up, the fun things we did, the things we did to get into trouble :) the way Becky helped put God in my life, how she and Ken met, and most of all what she meant to me as a friend and a person.  A wonderful thing happened through this, I made friends with one of the other girls who spoke and now we are the best of buds!!!!
God has a way of making wonderful things out of tragedies.
Jordan was pregnant at the time.
They did a video of Becky at a mission trip in Russial  And with her beautiful southern accent she said the word "Grace" over and over.  I begged Jordan to name Evelyn "Grace" (as a middle name") so that I could remember Becky by.  She did.
So, as I'm telling you this, remember how special your friends and family are especially here at Christmas time.  It's easy to get caught up in the gift giving part of Christmas, but don't forget that God gave his ONLY son to save US!!!
I know that Becky looks down on me every day and sometimes I find myself talking to her.
OH, how I miss her so, but I know she is dancing in Heaven.
Have a wonderful day y'all!
If you would like to make a donation in Becky's honour and to read more about her story and journey, her family has created
Faith Star Everlasting.  An effort to eradicate ovarian cancer.


  1. Kendall, thank you so much for this. I was back there with Becky for a few minutes. I am brushing tears away. That was a difficult time and I am still amazed that you were able to stand up and speak for Becky and do such a wonderful job at the same time. Not many people could do that. You are part of the family and always will be; Becky's other sister.

  2. Kendall,thank you for your beautiful message; I will definitely donate to her memory but would like the ornaments or other form of donation to go to the Sollie family or their designees to distribute or keep as they see fit. So,if someone would tell me where to send it, I would be greatly appreciative; I couldn't quite figure out how to do this from the website. I knew Greg better than I did Becky but I remember them both very fondly. I have lived in Birmingham ever since graduation from college and as a result I have lost contact with so many of my friends from growing up in Dothan. On a similar sad subject, I didn't realize that Shanon Davis had died until recently. As you probably know,she was Greg and mine's age. My e-mail address is, cell phone number is 205 936-2066 or please let me know though Facebook. God bless you for doing this for a speciai person and family. TAke care, Scott

  3. By the way, this is Scotty Cobb; y'all probably figured that out from the unoriginal e-mail address.

  4. Hey Scotty! Im going to send Greg your phone number and maybe he can get you involved some way. Thank you so very much for your wonderful generosity. Have a merry, merry Christmas!!!!