Friday, July 26, 2013

Vacation Time!!!

First of all, yesterday's blog.
"W" said "you may want to tell people that I didn't wear a blue leisure suit tuxedo at our wedding.
that long hair was cut wayyy before I met him...
We had such a wonderful dinner at Pricci in Atlanta.
oh yum.
Thank you for all the Happy Anniversary Wishes!!!
ahem...I liked the first pic of me better and the second pic of "W" better.  hehe.
okay.  Today we leave for vacation.
I seriously don't remember the last time I was so excited to go on a trip!
All 10 of us are heading down to the Bahamas for a whole week!
Sad that we are leaving Catie-bug behind, but we decided an 18 month old might be more than we can all handle...all 10 of us.
What's really fun is the chain of e-mails being sent out between all of us.  It has gotten hysterical y'all.
Oh. and have you ever spray tanned?
So after getting "buffed and puffed" at the nail salon, I headed over to Palm Beach Tan.
(easiest way to loose 5 lbs.)
you know, tanned fat looks much better (and thinner) than white fat.....
My goal was to get in a tanning bed for 8 min. and then do a spray tan.
a little pinky/brown color.
First, I walked in.
Now. I do not frequent this place at all.  I only went because I couldn't bear getting in a swimsuit all white and all.
I signed in and they gave me the information.
the attendant said "do you know how to use the machine?"
yep, done it before,
So, I go get neked in the tanning bed (a very wierd feeling)
the whole time my mind is wandering.
What if someone comes in.
What if we have some freak electrical outtage.
What if they have see through mirrors and are secretely spying on me.
What if a huge storm comes up and electrocudes me.
What if, what if, what if.
I'm a freak.
so after I tan for my 8 minutes (which breaks down to 3.00 per minute....)
I put my clothes back on and go get the cannister for the spray tan.
First of all, it was a new machine with new instructions.
and it's been a while since I've done this.
but, of course I, in my infinite wisdom knew exactly how to work this machine.
I strip down.
Put the cap on my head, the goggles on my eyes and the nose plugs in my nose.
I paint my fingernails and toesnails with the cream.
And I decide to read the directions.
without my glasses (which are in the car)
I open the bottle like it says to pour some additive in it.  Half spills out on the floor.
No additive. Crap.
I decide I didn't need it.
I push the outside button and on comes a voice. I decide to get in.
It tells me it's heating and to get out.
I don't listen to the robot voice.  So I stayed in this tank.  Anxiously awaiting the spray.
2 min. go by.
5 min. go by.
10 min. go by.
I open the door.
That same robot voice tells me it's heating.  Again.
So I stay in there in my correct postion.  One foot on 3, other on 1.
Another 5 min. go by.
By now I was sure there was a hidden camera in there.
I open the door and get out.
I go back in.  The robot voice told me it was heating...again.
This went on for atleast 15 min.
good grief.
So I take off all the garb that I had just put on, put my clothes back on and walk out to find the daggum attendant.
I was sure the machine was broken.
plus it was still talking to me even when I wasn't in there. 
The attendant hears the machine and comes looking for me.
She promptly tells me that there is a button that I have to push.
I feel like the biggest idiot ever.
I'm thinking the whole time, what if I look like Magda from "There's Something About Mary"
when I'm finished.
that was a real possibility.
So, I finish spray tanning and get outta there as fast as I can.
and I stink.
I still stink as I'm sitting here this morning.
Although I'm happy to say, the tan looks pretty darn good.
50 bucks well spent.
if we can keep this away.
Tropical Storm Dorian headed straight for us.
Have a great day y'all!

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