Monday, July 1, 2013

Embracing My Inner/Outer Fat....

Thirty three years ago I weighed 120 lbs.
Twenty years ago I weighed 130 lbs.
Ten years ago I weighed 140 lbs.
All within the range of acceptable for a 5'5" athletic woman.
What the hell happened?
Ya know, I don't know.
All I know is, that the devil invented swimsuit shopping.
It is intended to zap you of every bit of self-esteem that is left in your body.
and then some.
We are headed to the beach this week as you know.
So, I have not shopped for swimsuits in a really long time.
When we moved, I think they went out with all the stuff I no longer wanted to see.
So, I headed to a couple of local department stores.
(Another thing the devil invented)
only to bring out a bad case of anxiety.
Seriously, have you ever seen how they hang those swimsuits up?
Good grief.  None on the correct hangers, hangers all tangled up, none of these things in the right places, too many people, not enough sales people...I could go on.
Have I mentioned that I hate department stores?
SO...on to Belk.  To find this...
 Honestly, I never thought I would ever wear a "swimdress"...the equivalent of my grandmother's swimsuit.
But, I had to hang up my white mesh see through number....
 never found these....another reason I don't like department store shopping.
then on to Macy's for another "swimdress"
even a worse nightmare...
but, I thought these were really, really cute.
didn't find either of these either.
oh well.
the result of swimsuit shopping...
so, I wonder what happened to me?
About 38 is when it happened.
I weighed 138 and was happy with that.
Alot of it was muscle.
And I was a size 6.
Callen was a gymnast and there was this 7-11 right next door to the gym.  I would get a coke icee every day...a large one.
I would also get one of those strawberry/lemon slushes from Sonic a lot of times.
See.  I never, ever had to watch what I ate (or drank)  Never in my life.  I always just ate to my heart's desire!
So.  the lbs started creeping up on me about age 40.  And they creeped and they crawled until 20 lbs later, I now have a weight problem.  And I LET it happen.
I'll admit.
I used to look at overweight people and I am very ashamed of this now, but honestly I would think lazy, doesn't care, just get out and exercise that fat off.
Now I empathize with them.
I have no one to blame but myself.
I haven't exercised enough and I've eaten crappy.
I've let this happen.
So, if I started crying while trying on swimsuits, it's my own fault.
If someone snickers at me because I'm fat, it's my own fault.
It's up to ME to do something about it.


have a wonderful day y'all!


  1. 120 lbs is not a healthy weight as a woman ages! Set a realistic goal - even if its not a number but instead an outfit from a few years ago. Just as small changes like that Coke Icee maybe started weight gain small changes can completely turn things around. If you spend one year making small healthy choices, you won't believe when you read this post a year from now. Start with a healthy breakfast - browse Pinterest for recipes you will be excited about (eggs with veggies, toast, berries, whatever you like). And have a closing time for your kitchen. Mine is 9pm. If I feel hungry, I just get in bed and get excited for that good breakfast. Most nights I'm not hungry at all and don't graze the pantry out of boredom anymore. Make dinner a light meal on a dessert plate. I have kept off 15-20 lbs for 5 years by having a filling breakfast, small healthy dinner, no late eating, and just small good changes along the way. Oh and I made alcohol for weekends or just with a good weeknight dinner or an especially long day. Not a 4+ night a week thing for me. Anyway with no calendar, agenda, or drastic changes I just dropped weight over time. And once that first chunk goes you gain momentum and motivation. Exercising is a big bonus for me too. Anyway I am just an anonymous reader who thinks you are beautiful! But if you aren't completely happy with yourself, then you have to take charge and take care of yourself - esp for all those grand babies. Go slow, let yourself have treats. Just remember if treats are the norm then the aren't treats! Wink wink

    1. thank you "A"!!! This is wonderful advice!!! I think you're beautiful too - even though I don't know who you are!!! :)
      You made my morning nice!!!

  2. Ps these are weeknight rules! On the weekend we go out and all. Sometimes I make healthier choices, sometimes I don't! Steak and mashed potatoes are ok by me and taste better when a reward for a good week.