Friday, December 17, 2010

"Outta Sight, Outta Mind"

Ya know, that is a very, very true statement.
Sister and I were talking today after mom's surgery (which went amazingly well by the way!) yeahhhhhh!
anyway about that statement.
Let me explain.  I'm guilty of it.  In the worst possible way.
December 19th, 3 yrs. ago I lost my life long best friend to cancer.  She was the most dear person in the world to me.  And you know what?  As the old saying goes "outta sight, outta mind".  I let her slip right out of my life because I didn't stay in touch.  Ya know?  I'm not really sure why I did that either.  I think it was just easier not to face such a difficult situation.  If it was "outta sight" I wouldn't have to deal with such heartache. With mom's situation it's similar in ways.  We're not (as a family) always there for her (or other family members) like we should be.  It's just easier to ignore the obvious, that way you don't have to deal with it.  I'm the worst phone caller in the world.  Every friend that I have will attest to that fact.  I sort of have a "fear" of the phone.  So therefore I don't call.  Shame on me.....(I need phone fear therapy!
Anyway, back to mom, and friends and family that we don't check on enough.  See, when mom got sick we really didn't know how bad off she was.  She was living by herself down in Dothan, Alabama and we didn't visit or check on her enough.  It took our sister in law Val to say, "Kim, Kendall, your mom really, really is not well."  "She needs some serious medical help."  It took a different perspective to see the obvious.  AND, it took someone else to call us out on it.  Well, we took the bull by the horns, and Kim, Clay, Jack and I are really proud of how things are going right now.  But do we still do enough?  I don't know.  What IS enough?
As I'm sitting here with sister and her kids I'm typing and listening to their conversation at the same time.  They started talking about Evey and my blog last night.  And Sister said "you know what's wonderful about a child's love?  Sticking her sweet little hands through the bars of the bed to touch a sick person with crumpled up hands and apparent pain with no fear.  Total unconditional love.
I just had to add that in.
My son turned 26 yesterday and I didn't see him.  That makes me sad.  I was at the hospital yesterday most of all day.  
He was "outta" sight, but NOT "outta" mind
Happy Late Birthday buddy,
I love you!
Have a wonderful day y'all!


  1. Kendall, I agree. I also hate the phone but had made a promise to my dad when he was ill and before he passed away that I would look after my mom. I call my mom every day while doing a kitchen clean up, if only for a few minutes, and take her out at least every other weekend. The routine helps me remember and keep on track. I still have lots of free time to do things with friends and my own children. We all have busy lives but have to make time for the ones we love. Thank you for the reminder on how important it is!

  2. Truer words were never spoken!!! enough said!!!

  3. I also agree with you Kendall. My mom is having short term memory problems...and of course I see the wear on my dad. They are in NC and I am in AL. I tend to not realize how hard it really is until I am there...the few times i get there. (of course with all our weddings here...i see them alot:). I call her, and then the next day she tells someone she doesn't know when she last talked to me: (( But the moment is what counts. And I really need to do better. Thanks for sharing and just know that living in other states and even cities, than your parents, we all tend to do the same thing, until a wake up call, unfortunately. You are a great daughter to your mom ....I'll continue to pray for your mom, but also Kim and family and all of you as caretakers:))

  4. Just beautiful!! Well said.