Sunday, May 8, 2011

"This Time Last Year"

This time last year I sent my mom a card and to be honest, I'm not sure what else.  Since she never wanted for anything she was hard to buy for.  I think I sent her a gift card to Target!!!
This time last year, I selfishly celebrated Mother's Day with my own kids instead of MY mother. Oh how I now wish it had been the other way around.
I woke up early this a.m. to write.  Write what's on my mind about Mother's Day.  I'll admit, this is going to be a hard one today.  I'm going to try to keep it together for the sake of the one child I have here, her fiance'  and "W" but I think it's going to be hard.  As I write this I really didn't think I'd have a hard time with this day.  As I write this I can barely see the words for the tears dripping out of my eyes and clouding my glasses.
You know we all live with regrets.  Even though we shouldn't.  But...we do, it's just human nature.  I have so many, oh so many regrets of things that I didn't do, didn't say to my mom when she was alive.  It's been a short 4 months since we laid her to rest and oh how I wish I could see her just one more time and tell her what her life really meant to me.
I know I've told you how she never complained.  I really, really try to follow in her footsteps on that one.
She was my biggest cheerleader.  Every time I tried something new, or had a dinner party that she attended or did anything design wise, she wouldn't go on and on about it.  She was just shake her head and tell me I was amazing.  I'll admit, I wanted her to go on and on about it, but she just expected certain things out of me!  So, she didn't act surprise when I did them.
Let's take my art.  She didn't really understand it.  I wanted her to so badly.  She was one that loved art in realism.  She didn't understand the abstract so it was hard for her to comprehend that I could even sell one piece of my work!  Again, she would just shake her head and say amazing.
What my mom left me...
The freedom and ability to try any new quest that was given me (I got that from my dad as well)
and the feeling that I could accomplish it.
The gift of sewing which she started teaching  me when I was nine.
A great salad
A great spaghetti
A great chocolate chip cookie
How to needlepoint (she was the master)
But the most important thing my mother gave me?
The ability to forgive.
I believe one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.
Not only was she a thoughtful, amazing, giving, selfless person.
She was forgiving.
I will always remember my mom for these things that she left me.
Happy Mother's Day Mom.
I miss you every day
even though I didn't tell you enough
I have and will always love you and remember you forever

I hope all of you out there have the best Mother's Day ever.
Hug your mom and tell her what she means to you and the gifts she has passed on to you.
(guys do it too!)
I painted two paintings in my mom's honour.
For you to have for your mom if you so wish.
They are available in my store on my website.
The are appropriately named
My Mother's Trees I and II
since she loved the outdoors

with love,


  1. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, experiences, advice, and gifts with us. Happy Mother's Day to you. You ARE amazing.

  2. I am sorry that you are sad today ...thinking of you and sending love. Callen's presence and the news of her choice in attire will help to lift you up. xoxo

  3. Thanks for sharing. I bet when she see's your accomplishments from afar the rays of the sun beam brighter- the rainbows sparkle-the clouds part for her to tug a piece of your heart. May love peace and joy be yours in abundance today and forever. Happy Mothers Day!!!

  4. Happy Mother's Day yesterday:) Take away the guilt of not spending Mother's Day with your mom last year. Don't you know that You being with Your kids was Mother's Day to her? I'm sure you feel the same way. AND....any time you were with her, was Mother's Day:))))) That's so how I feel! :))

  5. oops........that is ME above....KONIE CLARK.....Kendall is here and is signed on to google on my part of computer and I'm computer illiterit and didn't notice that. OOPS!


  7. Stopping in to check on what you are up to (and writing the blog post on your amazing work!), and this post really spoke to me. My mother died of cancer over 10 years ago - and it is still hard on Mother's Day. She died when my girls were age 2 and 6 months (did not ever meet my youngest), and now that my oldest is a teenager, I wish I could talk to her, ask for advice (I remember being quite a challenge as a teenager), say 'I'm sorry' for all of the things I did and said when I was a teenager - now that I am living it myself!

    Beautiful post.