Thursday, October 7, 2010


I'm just gonna warn you.  This will probably be a rather long blog...and maybe emotional.
I hope I can find the words to express my emotions.  I took a walk while mom was in recovery today to just think.  Think about everything in my life right now.  Then I decided to write about you, most of whom I don't even know.  But, I need to write.  I need to get my emotions on paper...or rather the computer screen.
Today was a whirlwind.  Actually the past three months have been.
I'm 51.  I'm at the age where I'm having grandbabies and dealing with health issues of my aging parents at the same time.  Some would say I'm too young to be doing either.  But I know there are more of you just like me out there.  Whether you're 45, 50, 60 or whatever! and let me tell ya,,,,it ain't for sissys.  But it's're happy on the baby side and sad on the parents side.
A huge mixture of emotions goin on inside me.
Today my mom went in for her 4th surgery in 3 months.  She has been through the mill.
And....she's the strongest woman I know.  Never the one to complain.  Highest pain tollerance level I've ever seen.  I admire her like no one I have ever admired.  And ya know?  I've not always been there for her.  I'm So ashamed of that.

I have a sister who is truly a saint.  She has been taking care of mom since her first surgery.  She along with her 2 youngest kids.  The greatest kids you will ever meet.  She has done this while holding down two jobs.  I honestly don't know how she's been able.
But, we've got that ole saying between us "you just gotta do what cha gotta do"
Back to the first surgery..... It was to replace a hip implant that had come loose.  Why it did that we're still not sure.
Then her incision wouldn't close and heal.  Back to surgery to put in a drain. (I think I blogged about that back then).  ut oh....that didn't work....back to surgery again.  That time they opened the wound, packed it and put in a vacume.  Well, another NO GO.  Back to surgery today to dig around and see what was causing this healing issue.  Now let me tell you, the hole in her leg was the size of a small rubber football.  She also had a hole in her elbow that needed attention (the size of a quarter).
Sorry if this is making you queezy.

Enter the worst case scenerio.
(besides her not making it through surgery)
They removed the entire hip.
So, now, I am looking here at my beautiful 74 year old mom.....lying on a hospital bed.  All 120 lbs of her fragile once 5'8" frame.  Tubes everywhere. She looks pathetic but beautiful and peaceful at the same time.
And I'm crying.  I just can't stop the tears from falling on my computer screen.  She's out of it on morphine.
I want to scream this isn't fair!  She's too young.  We have so much we wanna do together!
and then I thought, my best friend Becky was too!  She was 50 when she died.
And her family came together and cared for her.
And ya know, that's what it's all about.
You have to come together with your loved ones and take care of each other.
You HAVE to be there.  No matter how hard it is or how far away you live or how busy you are or how much you try to sweep your worries under the table and ignore the obvious.
It's vital.
My mom will be in the hospital probably bed ridden for 6 - 8 weeks.  She may be able to be in a wheelchair for some of that time....then we'll try a new hip.  She will be looked after by a wonderful team of doctors and nurses
and the most important one our Almighty Healer.
In the meantime, my family will be putting together a visiting schedule so someone will always be coming to see her.  She has 4 kids and 14 grandkids and most are in Birmingham!
Thank you for your prayers and your kind words here and on facebook.
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have a wonderful family and many, many wonderful friends praying for us.


  1. Being a daughter-- there is not much worse, albeit seeing your own kids hurting, as seeing your mother matter how old you are. You are all in our thoughts and prayers, I added your mom to our prayer list. Take care of yourself, so that you can take care of your mom. Am thinking of you and yours and I am making 4 ragtop necklaces at the same time.....

  2. Kendall-- My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my mother twenty years ago when she 54. The ache never heals. I hope and pray that your mother heals completely and very soon. She sounds like such a joy filled person and a fantastic mother! May God bless and keep you.

  3. Thanks for sharing your tears- I have been praying for you all throughout the day. You know- something pulled me out of bed and to the computer to check in on you- and I think it was a Godly nudge.
    It (insert whatever it is) is ALL a part of Gods plan. Want to know my all time favorite Bible verse: Matthew 16:26 For what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul? This verse keeps me grounded to be in this world but not "of" it-

    I think that when we encounter unfair situations- the plan is for us to stop, take a breath, reflect and redirect-
    God does not give us siblings to compare ourselves too (that would be coveting) instead He allows us to compliment each other- whatever her weakness is- is your strength: whatever your weakness is- is her strength. You are a team ! Your mother is not taking score- she is humbled by the gesture that you are all there, together, and by her side-

    Matthew 6:34"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." So treasure the day that is set out before you- each DAY is a gift. It fills my heart to pray for you- even though we have never met I feel I know you through the expressions in your work- perfectionist, inherited great strength from your mother, free-spirit, beautiful, soft-hearted, passionate, independent, loves to love- loves to be loved?!?
    Tonight I know is a post with a lot of emotion- overwhelmed by the days ahead.... the only peace that comes to us is from above.
    You have roots from a mothers love but remember she also gave you wings- freedom to be you and I can imagine she loves YOU just the way you are !!!

    Peace Hope and Love- Chi Anne
    ps- I love the musician Laura Story- song:Make Something Beautiful
    if you get a chance to listen to it- great story behind it
    some lyrics
    When I’m at the point of breaking at the place where I resign,
    And I’m at the stage of shaking my head as I look back on my life,
    When I’m halfway through the grieving, but not quite through the ache,
    When I cannot see the ending
    Or which road I’m supposed to take,
    All I know to do is lift my hands to You.
    Take all of my life, all of my life,
    And make something beautiful.
    I open my hand, trusting Your plan.
    Make something beautiful so all will see your work in me
    if you make something beautiful........

  4. I wish I could find the words to respond to these wonderful messages. Thank you so much everyone. Oh my, CAW. I don't know you (however would love to!) but that was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  5. Kendall,thank you for sharing your pain. what a beautiful thing to do. I am not good with words, but I am crying with you! I love you I love my family I love your Mom. You and Kim are so strong and you have each other. That alone is such awonderful gift!!! Love and prayers A E

  6. Kendall...just caught up on 3 days of your blogs. Praying for your family and the medical team taking care of your precious mom. I've watched the strength of your family over a lot of years...HE never lets go...hold on to that:)
    we will check on ya'll:)
    love and prayers.........

  7. Kendall.......we are praying for you, too. I'm so sorry that your mom has been through so much. I'm hoping that this is the time where she will heal properly and get stronger as each day passes.
    love you!
    Debbie Meyerhoff and family

  8. Kendall, I am praying for you, your family, and your mom daily! I want you to download "healer" by Kari Jobe and put it on a playlist for all to hear. It truly will calm your spirits and make your heart joyous. I hope you enjoy it!