Tears

I'm just gonna warn you.  This will probably be a rather long blog...and maybe emotional.

I hope I can find the words to express my emotions.  I took a walk while mom was in recovery today to just think.  Think about everything in my life right now.  Then I decided to write about it....to you, most of whom I don't even know.  But, I need to write.  I need to get my emotions on paper...or rather the computer screen.

Today was a whirlwind.  Actually the past three months have been.

I'm 51.  I'm at the age where I'm having grandbabies and dealing with health issues of my aging parents at the same time.  Some would say I'm too young to be doing either.  But I know there are more of you just like me out there.  Whether you're 45, 50, 60 or whatever! and let me tell ya,,,,it ain't for sissys.  But it's wierd...you're happy on the baby side and sad on the parents side.
A huge mixture of emotions goin on inside me.

Today my mom went in for her 4th surgery in 3 months.  She has been through the mill.

And....she's the strongest woman I know.  Never the one to complain.  Highest pain tollerance level I've ever seen.  I admire her like no one I have ever admired.  And ya know?  I've not always been there for her.  I'm So ashamed of that.

I have a sister who is truly a saint.  She has been taking care of mom since her first surgery.  She along with her 2 youngest kids.  The greatest kids you will ever meet.  She has done this while holding down two jobs.  I honestly don't know how she's been able.
But, we've got that ole saying between us "you just gotta do what cha gotta do"

Back to the first surgery..... It was to replace a hip implant that had come loose.  Why it did that we're still not sure.

Then her incision wouldn't close and heal.  Back to surgery to put in a drain. (I think I blogged about that back then).  ut oh....that didn't work....back to surgery again.  That time they opened the wound, packed it and put in a vacume.  Well, another NO GO.  Back to surgery today to dig around and see what was causing this healing issue.  Now let me tell you, the hole in her leg was the size of a small rubber football.  She also had a hole in her elbow that needed attention (the size of a quarter).

Sorry if this is making you queezy.

Enter the worst case scenerio.

(besides her not making it through surgery)

They removed the entire hip.

So, now, I am looking here at my beautiful 74 year old mom.....lying on a hospital bed.  All 120 lbs of her fragile once 5'8" frame.  Tubes everywhere. She looks pathetic but beautiful and peaceful at the same time.
And I'm crying.  I just can't stop the tears from falling on my computer screen.  She's out of it on morphine.

I want to scream this isn't fair!  She's too young.  We have so much we wanna do together!

and then I thought, my best friend Becky was too!  She was 50 when she died.

And her family came together and cared for her.

And ya know, that's what it's all about.

You have to come together with your loved ones and take care of each other.

You HAVE to be there.  No matter how hard it is or how far away you live or how busy you are or how much you try to sweep your worries under the table and ignore the obvious.

It's vital.

My mom will be in the hospital probably bed ridden for 6 - 8 weeks.  She may be able to be in a wheelchair for some of that time....then we'll try a new hip.  She will be looked after by a wonderful team of doctors and nurses

and the most important one our Almighty Healer.

In the meantime, my family will be putting together a visiting schedule so someone will always be coming to see her.  She has 4 kids and 14 grandkids and most are in Birmingham!

Thank you for your prayers and your kind words here and on facebook.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have a wonderful family and many, many wonderful friends praying for us.

 kendall